My mental agony

When sweet pleasure turns to pain

And desires turn to nightmares

When every single piece of me

Wants to be free from care

How often do you realise

That something that you wanted yesterday 

Is not what you need today?

I've felt the quagmire of emotions

I've dealt with the ramifications of my fantasies

Now all I want is to be exonerated from this situation 

Is it too much that I ask for?

Why no one is happy with what they get

All those people with cancer are crying and praying to survive because they are young and haven't lived enough and aren't ready to die yet. 

And all those depressed people who have suffered so much at such a young age that they wish they had cancer so that their suffering could end in some way.  

I feel pity for both. 

Within a gilded frame

Eyes of the weary old woman

Stared at me once again

Her stories etched in my mind

From long ago. 

Her temple full of freckles

And her chin sagging

She was the epitome of hardwork. 

I'm not sure how I resemble her

Though people keep saying it

There's nothing similar between us

Except we both bear a long round nose. 

I hardly ever notice 

How much her skin looks rotten

Or how watery her eyes look

She was suffering 

She knew it was the end

That soon enough she'll end up

Within a gilded frame. 

Begone oh Promiscuous

Oh promiscuous, your ambiguity has baffled me 

The thunderous cacophony of your dreams

Has awoken me and rendered my nights sleepless

For you have to conquer the battle you started yourself

No, do not try to fathom my life into your promiscuity

I shall neither be thy prey, nor your mistress 

You have played enough games

And won each and every one of them

Why, oh why do you have to then

Play with my holiness and pious generosity?

I forbid you to behold me with thine eyes

Monstrous creature you, now begone!

A letter to my mother

Dear mom,

Remember when i was little

I told you i wanna be just like you

Daddy smiled at my words

And you enjoyed it too

I have grown up now mom

And I know I have let you down

Not once but a hundred times

But you never gave up on me

We had fights, i cried all night

I made you cry too, but you still fed me

Everytime you had faith in me

And everytime you encouraged me

All those times I missed your presence 

When I was about to perform on stage

I have realised how much you have done for me

I have realised how much you have given up for me

I have been mean, I have been heartless 

But you have always forgiven me

And all my mistakes

And all those nights when i cried in sickness

You stayed up and look after me

And all those days you were bedridden 

I made sure I took care of you

Just the way you did

I hope I am your reflection mom

I hope I am like you

Bless me, and love me

Just like you do

Forever, because I love you. 

Castle On A Hill

I saw a magnificent castle on a hill

Its towers up high piercing the clouds 

Conical roofs with slight golden shimmer

Brilliantly covered with a sunny shroud

But the walls looked old and tarnished

And the big metal portcullis was rusted

The moat was definitely all dried up

And the ditch was grime-crusted 

I wonder if anyone lives up there

If there is a princess on one of the towers

I'd like to be her knight and rescue her

If only I could climb above that flimsy bower

But this castle looked way too old

And abandoned as it lost its glory

My fairytales had a different picture

They did not look this profane in the stories

Instead it looks like one of those castles

They show in horror movies and cartoons

With a thundery night, full moon and a wolf howling

Housing a big frightening buffoon

Yes, that must be it

Its nothing but a scary old mansion

I'm glad I didn't linger there long

So much for a monumental attraction. 

My virtue is my duty

With the morning begins my day

Different roles I'm ready to play

Again and again I am perturbed 

But nature and emotions are undisturbed

Silently, without a word, all needs I suffice

Day to night, unsaid unconditional sacrifice

What do I gain from all these duties?

Deteriorating my health and my fugacious beauty

Still, I don't pretend, I take my job seriously 

A homemaker and a mother, working audaciously 

If I don't follow my virtue as my duty

Who else do you think will prove their loyalty?