Emotionless.

I'm not pretty. I need makeup to look good. 

I'm barely a good artist, seeing good artists makes me feel ashamed of myself. 

I'm insecure. I feel I'm good at nothing. 

I constantly fear failure and i do constantly meet failure. 

But I wasn't always like this. 

I was known for my confidence and versatility. I was inspiration to my juniors and me seniors were proud of me. 

I was a good leader, and a good disciple too. 

Now I'm just a waste of time and energy. I don't want to blame anyone for this. I've become someone i never wanted to and i am ashamed of myself but it's not anybody else's fault. I have done this to me. I'm always annoyed and irritated. I don't like people anymore and I don't feel like talking to anybody at all. I don't like my parents either. Even their voices and their existence annoys me. I do dream of my nephew some times but he just seems like a distant memory now. I don't talk to him when he comes on skype. The poor kid loves me, i can see it but I can't just give anything back. I do want to show emotions but they just don't come out. I have become almost emotionless.

Oh what have i done to me?