Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Need To 'Fit In'

   Every single day, when you walk out of your house, you see small groups clustered in random places, snickering or gossiping or I don't know what. I'm usually indifferent to such people and just head out for my work or whatever and I mostly prefer to be alone. But I wasn't so always. I too had a group of friends. We would hang out, do stuff together like shopping or going out for lunch and all. But slowly, somehow I lost the need to be in a group. 
   

    Being in a group requires a lot of effort. According to psychologists, social conformity plays a big role in shaping a person's attitude towards the world. The need to be in a group makes them turn into someone else altogether in order to 'fit in'. But do we really need to fit in? I don't know. 



       Psychologists say that it is necessary for a person to be part of a social group in order to maintain a good mental health. It is sort of an unsaid norm that we all need to abide to. Everyone is a part of a social group and they all indulge in various activities together. They have similar interests, characteristics or way of thinking. Usually, a group of like minded people is what creates a social group.  But, what if none of the people have a way of thinking like you? What if you don't find satisfaction in conversing with someone because their thoughts and your thoughts do not sync? 


  
    
    The lack of similar tastes or interests may at first sound very intriguing and might drive you to get to know the person or a group of people better. You try everything they are into and try to like something others do because you want to be with them and be a part of them. You read the books they read, watch the shows they watch, even go to the places they go to and also get to know their friends. In this whole process, somewhere and somehow you are losing who YOU really are. You maybe a tomboy but because your girlfriends are sorority queens you start wearing makeup and all your guy friends start acting weird around you. They say 'you've changed bro' and all you reply is 'don't call me bro'. 
   

This isn't you, this is what you turned into just to belong with a bunch of people who are not like you. 

     But why? Why did you burn up the original you and become someone who is a stranger even to your closest friends?   You no more like chinese take-out, you prefer tops over tshirts and hardly go out without your eyeliner and lipstick. Eventually you just become a plastic. 


     
     Instead of going through so much of pain, I suggest get to know people, know their interests and meet their friends. But don't try to become them. Don't try to do things they do just to feel accepted in the group or watch the shows they watch to be a part of the gossip. Be yourself. If they are talking about something just listen and then tell them about something you like. Show them who you are and why you are the way you are. If they like you, the real you, well and good. If they don't, no problem! Be on your own and do your own thing. Doesn't matter if few people don't like you the way you are. You weren't born to please them all. 




And....


-Sohini ❤️

   

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