Moments when you wanted to end your life but you couldn't

There were a number of times in my life when i just wanted to end it all, just stop breathing so I don't have to face all the hardships of life. But how many of you actually tried and failed? Well here are five the times i failed-

1. When I didn't cut my wrist deep enough-

I was 12 and i was a headstrong girl. I actually tried to cut my wrist with a 'pencil sharpener' blade. And obviously, it barely touched my nerve but shed a lot of blood anyways.  😑

2. When I wanna hang myself but fear that the fan might come off instead-

I'm also overweight. I'm almost a 100 kgs and hanging just ain't the suicide stunt i can pull. I'm afraid if i even try I'd either break the rope and fall on the floor or even worse, the fan would come right out of the ceiling. 😳

3. When I thought I could jump off a building but I'm scared of heights- 

Another irony of my life. I'm scared of heights. Out of all the things in life. And everytime i think about the options i have to end my life, this one is striked off right away. 

4. I actually think about meeting with an accident deliberately but then change my mind. 

I have thought of this numerous times. Everytime i saw a truck coming from the side i wanted to jump right infront of it or go and dash my bike with a bus or something but then i look at the size of the bus and i just change my mind. Better luck next time 😅

5. When I wanted to hire gangsters but I'm broke-

And that despairing moment when I thought it'd be smart to hire gangsters for my own murder but then I realise I'm   so poor that they'll rather kill me for making a fool out of them(oh well that should work too then). 

Well, despite of all the times i wanted to die, I'm still here, alive and kicking. 

If there's any story you wanna share about your suicide trials lemme know in the comments below. Ciao